


Aw, Candy Bar Mashup, No.

by ChrissiHR



Series: It's the Great Countdown, Darcy Lewis [3]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: 31 Days Of Halloween, Darcy Lewis's Taser, F/M, Fluff, Little Red Riding Hood - Freeform, Meet-Cute, October 3, Promptober, Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs, Suspense, Wordcount: 100-1.000, Wordcount: 100-2.000, Wordcount: 500-1.000, Wordcount: Under 10.000, song prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 18:12:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12259503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChrissiHR/pseuds/ChrissiHR
Summary: Night 3 ...in which Little Red Riding Hood kicks the Big Bad Wolves’ asses like a boss.





	Aw, Candy Bar Mashup, No.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Merideath](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merideath/gifts).



> Night 3 prompt: Darcy/Steve, Little Red Riding Hood by Sam the Sham and The Pharaohs
> 
> Beta'd by phoenix_173

“You okay there, ma’am?”

Darcy flinched and spun to face the stranger standing a respectful distance away at the mouth of the alley, his hands raised in the universal sign for “don’t tase me, bro”. She exhaled, panting and swallowing hard as her heart galloped somewhere up near her throat. The wave of adrenaline hazing her vision ebbed and it finally occurred to her to hide the taser in the pocket of her red hoodie.

The tall blond stranger gestured down the street, toward the lights of the coffeehouse near the entrance to the subway station. “Not that you need it, but I’m headed to the subway station, if you don’t wanna walk the rest of the way alone. I’ll buy you a coffee?”

Nope. All of the nope. “Listen, dude—”

“I don’t usually do this, but—” He twisted sideways, reaching for something.

Darcy yanked the taser from her pocket in less than a heartbeat. “No fucking way. Hands where I can see ‘em, bro.”

His hands snapped back up to shoulder-height. Wary, he eyed her, but didn’t try to reach for anything at his back again. “It’s just my ID. Wallet’s in my back pocket, ma’am. My name is Captain Steve Rogers. I’ll keep my hands up here if you wanna grab my wallet, take a photo of my ID to text to a friend or whatever…”

“I will tase you in the ass and leave you twitching in a puddle of your own drool if you so much as flinch when I come over there.”

“Understood, ma’am.” He placed his hands on his head.

Instead of plucking the wallet from his back pocket, Darcy thumbed her phone on and circled the big blond quarterback while she queued up Thor for a video call.

“Lady Darcy?” her bestest, blondest, bad-assest friend in the known universe answered the phone.

“A couple of a-holes in tracksuits just tried to mug me in Bed-Stuy for my pint of Candy Bar Mashup and a few bills. This guy showed up when I was done with them. He says he’s Steve Rogers. He look familiar to you?” She shined the light from her phone full-strength in the guy’s face.

“Have you been injured on your quest to the Baskin-Robbins?” Thor thundered down the phone, about to go Shakespeare in the Round on some braindead, hapless muggers.

Darcy huffed. “I’m fine, Thor. The ice cream didn’t make it, but the guys who tried to rob me are laying in their own piss at the back of this alley. THIS GUY came along after I kicked their asses. He wants to walk me to the subway.” She shined the light in blondie bear’s eyes again. Gamely, he blinked and stared into the camera lens.

“Captain!” Thor bellowed. “It is indeed my shield-brother, the Captain of America. He will see you safely home and forever shall the Eternal Realm be in his debt, Lady Darcy.”

Darcy didn’t put away the taser, but she did point the light at the guy’s chest instead of further scorching his retinas.

“Darcy Lewis,” she introduced herself grudgingly with a nod. From a respectful distance.

“Ma’am,” tall, blond, and stacked nodded back, hands still on his head.

“I’ll call you when I get home, Thor,” she turned her attention briefly to the lens.

Regal as fuck, Thor nodded. “Wise idea, my shield-sister. Agent Romanoff says she will meet you there and asks that you not electrocute the captain unless he’s asking for it.” Thor turned off-screen to talk to someone else in the room. “She also says to inform you that he is a Cancer and that Venus entered his sign today. He is single with few vices, and eats all his vegetables.”

Darcy snorted. “Does she want to send over X-rays of his teeth for me to check, too?”

“She’s texting them to your phone now.”

Steve threw back his head and laughed.

Thor signed off, so Darcy tucked the taser back in her pocket and shrugged. “Sorry about that, Captain Rogers. Can never be too careful.”

“No, ma’am, you sure can’t,” the blond bombshell agreed, lowering his arms and offering one to escort her. “Are you okay?”

She wrapped a hand around the inside of his elbow and kicked a rock into a trash can, squeezing his meaty biceps thoughtfully. “I’ve had worse nights than some dumb, two-bit Russian tracksuit bro ruining my Candy Bar Mashup because I tasered his balls.”

“Yeah?”

“You ever heard of a town called Puente Antiguo?” she asked as they wandered into the night.


End file.
